Sick!

DOOM was sick the other day!  DOOM does not like being sick!  DOOM's mask is not built for being sick!  Do you know how long it took DOOM to clean his mask?!  It took DOOM hours to clean his mask!  Hours!  DOOM does not have time for that!  Especially when DOOM has diarrhea!  DOOM had a very bad couple of days!  DOOM is done speaking of it now!

Trailer!

DOOM was pleased to see this trailer available online!  Until DOOM watched it!  Where is DOOM in all of this?!  There is no DOOM!  Why is there no DOOM?!  That is a good question!  A question that makes DOOM angry!

Video Games!

DOOM wants to be in a video game!  DOOM knows he would be a grand digital champion villain!  DOOM would destroy Link and take Zelda as his own!  Or DOOM would ransom Zelda and not let some uppity punk with a sword and healing fairy defeat him!

Relationships!

DOOM is not a shipper!  DOOM does not like to get that involved in characters!  DOOM shipped once!  DOOM thought Darla would be better off with Spanky!  But Darla loved Alfalfa!  DOOM has not gotten over the humiliation of that!  Therefore DOOM refuses to ship fictional characters!  Although, secretly DOOM ships Mary Worth and Judge Alan Parker!

But DOOM knows that will never be!  This saddens DOOM!  Because DOOM knows these two were meant for each other!

Squirrels!

DOOM saw a squirrel run across a power line yesterday!  DOOM does not like squirrels!  DOOM does not trust squirrels!  Squirrels have beady, shifty eyes!  DOOM knows they are up to no good!  Also, DOOM cannot stand their patron saint and sworn protector!  She annoys DOOM to no end!

Cold!

DOOM never thought he would sympathize with Captain America!  DOOM hates Captain America!  But if Captain America felt as cold as DOOM does right now during his 75 years on ice, then DOOM feels pity for him!  DOOM is cold!  DOOM does not like the cold!  It makes DOOM's armor very uncomfortable!  DOOM does not like being uncomfortable!  DOOM's armor is very cold to the touch!  And DOOM's armor is touching him all over!  DOOM feels like Phoenix might be a good base of operations right now!

Still Hungover!

DOOM is not going to lie!  DOOM had a bit too much to drink New Year's Eve!  DOOM still does not feel good!  The pounding in DOOM's head is incessant and unending!  It tortures DOOM!  And therefore DOOM will torture in return!  Damn this hangover!  Damn this headache!  Damn the world!

New Schedule!

DOOM has grown tired of the Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule!  DOOM has therefore decreed the new schedule will be Tuesdays and Thursdays!  DOOM is pleased by this new schedule!  That is all!

New Years Resolutions!

DOOM hates New Years Resolutions!  DOOM is perfect the way he is!  DOOM does not need to resolve to do better!  The only thing DOOM resolves to do is destroy the Fantastic Four!  DOOM will also eat fewer Eastern European pastries!  This is not because DOOM is having trouble fitting in his armor!  This is because DOOM said so!  Yes, that is it!  It is because DOOM said so, and only because of that!