Press!

DOOM did not update last week because DOOM was waiting for the press to call!  DOOM knows his reveal was big news and expected to be hounded by the paparazzi and legitimate press!  But DOOM was wrong!  DOOM does not like to be wrong!  Being wrong makes DOOM angry!  No members of the press corps called DOOM!  No paparazzi staked out DOOM's apartment where he blogs angrily!  DOOM was ignored!  This hurt DOOM!  This hurt DOOM worse than a punch from the Thing!  DOOM is sad!  DOOM knows it looks like his mask is some sort of acrylic or glass compound!  DOOM knows this movie will likely fail!  But DOOM just wanted to be recognized for his contributions!  Instead DOOM was ignored!  And so now DOOM will channel his sadness into anger!  And DOOM will destroy the press one printed newspaper at a time!  DOOM knows no one buys them!  So DOOM knows it will be easy to find and collect and burn them!

Decisions!

DOOM does not like to make decisions!  DOOM likes to act!  Sometimes when DOOM has to make a decision he relies on his most trusted advisor:  Magic Eight Ball!  Magic Eight Ball assists DOOM often!  DOOM wants to know if he should crush his neighbors for their insolence!  Magic Eight Ball says "Not at this time!"  DOOM wants to know if the boy who plays the hip-hop at all hours should suffer!  Magic Eight Ball says "Outlook hazy ask again!"  DOOM wants to know if DOOM should have the bagel with cream cheese or the toast with jam for breakfast!  Magic Eight Ball says "Yes!"  Today DOOM had a personal question for Magic Eight Ball!  DOOM needs guidance more than ever!  Magic Eight Ball has abandoned DOOM!  The only answer DOOM is getting is a blank!  DOOM does not approve!  DOOM wants to know why you have forsaken DOOM, Magic Eight Ball!?  Why!???!

Cell Phone!

DOOM was excited to get his first smart phone!  DOOM could not wait to use Siri to find and destroy his enemies!  DOOM did not realize that smart phones are not evil armor friendly!  One tap on the screen and DOOM's new electronic world came crashing down around him!  DOOM is not happy with this turn of events!  DOOM curses the grave of Steve Jobs!

Cough!

DOOM has been coughing!  DOOM does not like coughing!  Coughing echoes in DOOM's helmet and hurts his ears!  Do not mock DOOM for his sensitive ears!  DOOM will destroy anyone who laughs at him!  Well, DOOM will destroy you as soon as he is done hacking mucus all over the inside of his helmet!

Snack Cakes!

DOOM has been quiet!  DOOM understands this!  DOOM apologizes for those who hang on his every Tuesday and Thursday updates!  But DOOM is a busy man!  And lately DOOM has been busy trying to find a way to defeat the accursed do-gooders who foil his every plan at world domination!  DOOM grows tired of their meddling!  But DOOM has figured out where they get their power from!  DOOM has seen it time and again!  A villain is close to victory when suddenly a Hostess Snack Cake, or pie, or other delicious treat is used to distract them!  And then the hero wins!  DOOM does not approve of this tactic!  But DOOM does approve of the light fluffy crust and delicious fruit filling of a Hostess Pie!  DOOM is hungry!  It is time for DOOM to eat!

Brackets Part 2!

DOOM laughs at everyone who's brackets were decimated by failure over the weekend!  DOOM does not know failure!  DOOM only goes with a sure bet!  And in DOOM's bracket DOOM is the sure bet!  DOOM is undefeated!  Just as DOOM should be!  Bow down mortals!  DOOM is your bracketology master now!

Brackets!

DOOM has made his own bracket!  DOOM enjoys gambling!  But DOOM enjoys winning more! Behold, therefore, DOOM's very own bracket! And DOOM cannot lose with his bracket!  In DOOM's bracket DOOM always wins! Ha ha ha ha ha!